Abusive people rarely, if ever, change, and never own up to their abusive behavior. Confrontation will never work, and the abuse will only escalate. If you cannot leave the marriage, my best advice would be to walk away from him when he becomes this way towards you and to tell him that you will speak to him when he can be respectful. Then leave the room or the house. I am very sorry you have to put up with such behavior. (((((((Hugs)))))))))