I was a fighter from my growing up years so when my H pulled crap on me at the beginning of the marriage (put down sarcasm) I threw it right back at him until I hated the way doing that made ME feel (I could have cared less about him after that) I finally had enough & told him to stop or GET OUT of my life.

He worked at changing that...took about a year if I remember right (1976). There were so many other issues the only way I tolerated him was by hiding away in my computer engineering career until aerospace crashed. Then I ended up financially trapped in the marriage but because I wasva fighter I counter attacked becausevhe made me so angry I was seeing red. I didnt understsnd at the time either but that was the real reason for all my suicide attempts. I really wanted out & there was no other way that I could see until my mom died 13 years later & I made sure the money stayed out of the household accounts untol I LEFT with it.

By that time I knew he was NEVER going to change & I had ENOUGH. I had no skills to deal withvhim other than fight back & that was a miserable life.

Looking back after being gone 10 years (still dealing with divorce (long story)) & wonder why I didnt leave when I financially could instead of tolerating that crap for 33 years. The last 13 years were separated & living in the same house which was even more miserable.

There will come a time when you will have had enough....only you will know when. I always wondered why it was so easy for others to get divorced & not me....but I found out when I finally left. It was him not wanting to look like a loser so he kept holding on & teying to make ut impossuble for me to leave until he finally had no control over the money I inherited from my mom.

Maybe that not yet will become a some day for you to.....but we are each individuals with our own tolerance levels....that is the bottom line....thatv& finances.

Your comment about putting money in the account was a sore subject with me too. I was on disabiluty so it paid bills. His company sent him on abtrip to italy & it just kept being extended. He didnt have his check auto deposited because of debt collectors. I ended up nit having money to pay the house payment of buy food because hevdidnt bother tobmake arrangements for getting his check to me before going on the trip. He thought my money could cover everything. I was angry with him for doing that & he wasvangry at me for being angry at him.

Gone 10 years & he has let his house go into foreclosure 2 times....one being right now because he forgot to make house payments for a year but diesnt have the money either.

Some marriages we are just better off leaving in our past & starting life over. I have never been happier even with the crap Im still dealing with in regards to him but the divorce light is at the end of the tunnel now