My OCD symptoms have been under control for 12 years and I thought OCD was a thing of my past until an event yesterday triggered it all over again. My OCD manifests itself in an unshakeable fear that I have contracted AIDS and will bring shame to my family. Worse, I fear that I will infect my husband or other family members. I have had a pretty bad year healthwise, having been sick a lot. Yesterday while checking some symptoms I have been experiencing on a health-related web site, I discovered that I could have a condition that is often seen in people with heart problems or, of course, "compromised immune systems." I had an immediate panic attack and wanted to run screaming out of my office. It took everything I had not to do it and I spent much of the rest of the day either in tears or fixating on it. I don't want to go to the doctor's because I'm afraid he will think I'm crazy. I am just beside myself with worry. I went through 5 years of torture with this in the 90s before medication and therapy sent it packing. Now here I am again and I truly don't know if I have the strength to get through it. I tried telling my husband, but he is very self-involved and not at all understanding of how freaked out I am right now. I have a good therapist and a good psychiatrist, so I guess I will have to derive comfort and support from them. It's just so demoralizing and depressing. I really thought I had it beat.