Quote:
Originally Posted by golden_eve
Abusive people rarely, if ever, change, and never own up to their abusive behavior. Confrontation will never work, and the abuse will only escalate. If you cannot leave the marriage, my best advice would be to walk away from him when he becomes this way towards you and to tell him that you will speak to him when he can be respectful. Then leave the room or the house. I am very sorry you have to put up with such behavior. (((((((Hugs)))))))))
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Thanks golden_eve.
I am wondering if I should do more of being silent & just going elsewhere.
Years ago I first explained to him that I wasn't going to argue with him and would just move to do something else if he did that. Then I did that. He likes to hook me into an argument. I don't argue but he does, turning it into drama, diversions & sheer nonsense & put downs & lack of respect. It's as if he is waging a dirty war on me. I try to stick to that but sometimes I slip back into thinking "If only I explain he has got it wrong..." but that is just a trap and a sure way to hell and suffering.
I have tried to focus on his being respectful and other things that would help. There is no guarantee except the probability he will behave badly or irrationally & making me feel I am in a tornado. But I guess I could just put my boundary out there & not be lulled into giving it up.