Another week has gone by and thankfully it has been a better week. It’s been back and forth but mostly in an upward trend. I still don’t feel 100% but maybe that’s best because A slow improvement might mean a more permanent improvement. I spend less time utterly, abjectly depressed and more time mildly depressed or “okay”.

I think the rexulti might be causing exhaustion as I’ve been sleeping for about fourteen hours collectively during the night/day, but I’m sticking with it until at least January. Today was the best day yet; even though I slept until 10:15 (with a short waking period to get my son on the bus), and even though I took a three hour nap in the afternoon, I still managed to finally put my son’s laundry away. It’s heen sitting in the hamper for two weeks. I also washed dishes, took the trash out, and started new laundry. I cooked on Tuesday and yesterday. Today we went to McDonald’s but I had a salad.

Even though I am hopefully on my way to wellness I honestly don’t feel I can return to my job. The only thing stopping me is I only have $2000 left in my savings. But I feel like if I go back I will be out again within a month. I’ve been looking at admin assistant jobs online. I really feel I’d be more comfortable and less stressed in a job like that, although I know any job has the potential to be stressful. And obviously I’d only make maybe half of what I make, but money isn’t everything. What does money matter if I’m hospitalized all the time? I just can’t face going back to my job at all. I’ve decided to let my certificate expire anyway, so I would only have it until the end of the year. It’s not worth suffering through another six months. The only benefit would be pay and health insurance. Big benefits, surely, but...

Anyway. Hope things continue upward. I’m not going to make any major decisions until the new year.