Oh, TR. 
I understand. It’s a dissonant way to live, tying your self into knots to keep peace.
You’re right, you don’t belong anywhere you’re expected to walk on eggshells. I hope you’re safe. You deserve to be safe for yourself and your boys.
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Since you cannot do good to all, you are to pay special attention to those who, by accidents of time, or place, or circumstance, are brought into closer connection with you. (St. Augustine)
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