I identify with so many of the things said here...the intrusive fantasy life...that actually becomes destructive to my real life...the desire to have relationships but the feeling I'm not worthy of them...avoiding work responsibilities for fear of failure and rejection...and so much more...

Over the years I have developed some coping strategies for dealing with the anxiety and fear of rejection, but they don't always work. As another poster said, I can manage small talk, and I can manage social interaction, but, for example, if I have a work event at the end of the day, I spend the ENTIRE day building up for it. Preparing myself mentally for it, building a plan for how I will enter the event, who I will talk to, what exactly I will do, and then I take personal breaks throughout the event to give myself time to do some positive self talk as the problems of criticism, fear, rejection, etc., start to build up.

It's a struggle because I actually like being around people. But I also avoid it like the plague because of the fears I have that I can't control.

I was extremely shy as a child. So much so that my school report cards, while noting my intelligence, gave warnings to my parents about behavioral issues because of my "shyness." The childhood emotional neglect and abuse (and physical neglect and abuse) left me forever seeking approval but also forever not believing I'm worthy of it. I told someone in a group the other day that it's amazing how much I seek the approval and praise of authority figures, yet when I get it, I am so completely uncomfortable with accepting it, because I don't believe I deserve it.

Although I hate that any of us deal with these issues, it is somewhat relieving that I'm not the only person who suffers with these problems. I thought I was the only one. But it's comforting to know that someone out there knows what I've been hiding and dealing with for so long.

Seesaw