As of the past 6 months? Some depression after the suicide of my nephew, and a month ago briefly, but otherwise almost no symptoms, except occasional anxiety that can be managed/extinguished with Ativan and/or coping tools.

Worst overall in my life?

1. Delusions of persecution (psychosis)
2. Mania with mixed features
3.Anxiety stuff (general, agoraphobia, panic attacks)
4.Depression
5. Mania, elated
6. Hallucinations (psychosis)
7. Hypomania, irritable type
8. Depersonalization and/or Derealization
9.Hypomania, elated type

I have bipolar type 1. The very worst and traumatic episodes of my life were the manias with mixed and sometimes anxious features. They were the most dangerous for me and often included delusions of persecution. Frightening, grueling, torture!

I believe I had a full blown manic episode twice at 15 and 24, but they were short lasting, and only the first included mixed features and was somewhat traumatic. My psychiatrist and I believe my most dominant (long-lasting) episodes in my youth were clearly hypomanias, mostly elated, but with intermittent anger outbursts. I feel like I've spent more time hypomanic than anything in my life, though the ratio of depressions to hypomanias to manias changed after age 34. My rough guess of the ratios are as follows:

Ages ? or 15 to 34--- D8:H30:M2

Ages 34 to 46---D25:H5:M10 (with 7 of this 10 w/mixed features)

Does the above make any sense?

Anxiety has been an issue a lot in my life, but not always. I could have anxiety during any type of episode or alone, or have episodes or stability without it.