My closest friend has her own issues (bad marriage, separated one year, single mother) but I think she sometimes uses them to make excuses for her behavior.

A little background....the man I was dating over the past year and a half (a little bit on and off, but mostly on), well, I found out that he died, and I don't know how he did yet. This was all a shock to me, and since he was 16.5 years older than me, I am not getting much support from my family. I thought my friend was there for me, but she really disappointed me today. I texted her that I bought her daughter a little gift to be nice. I did not hear anything back. So I texted and called to see how she was doing. I get a text the next day saying, "I don't even want to bother with you anymore."

I was stunned. I didn't even have a clue what I did wrong! I asked her to elaborate. She took something I said out of context. I was talking about all these different problems that I was having, and simply said that I am thankful that I have a nice place to stay as of now. She lives in her own house, so I don't know why this bothered her so much, she claimed that she was mad at me for being "prideful" and bashed me. Then, she turned around and made excuses for her behavior. She always has problems with co-workers, family, you name it. I empathize with her when it comes to these things, but I am starting to wonder if she creates some of these conflicts. She is so overly sensitive, it's like I have to walk on eggshells!

Another time she did something similar: a few months ago, she went a whole month not speaking to me, literally ghosting me out of the blue....only to return later and once again, took something that I said out of context that was so small that I was stunned that time as well and had no clue what I had done that was so bad to be treated that way. I am not used to this kind of behavior from someone. I know she has a lot of trust issues and been in a bad relationship, but I stood up for myself both times and was placed in a position once again where I had to defend myself for something so innocuous. She seems to have "black and white" thinking a lot and feel people have bad intentions. She's not paranoid or has Bipolar, it's more like a personality thing.

I feel very, very hurt that during such a traumatic time for me, she is making it all about her....especially just a cold "I don't want to be bothered by you anymore" text. We talked, and although she half-way said sorry, it seems very "woe is me" all the time. I start to wonder if she creates a lot of her own drama, rather than drama following her.

How should I even proceed? Should I forgive and forget? Just as I mentioned above, this is the second time something like this happened.
What hurt me the most is that this is one of the hardest times for me, when I need a friend the most.