lil bit, you're 18, or nearly so. Can't you talk to any of your work friends, anyone at school? I'd invest money in a therapist on my own? Don't mess with actual drugs and other substances with no clue how you/they will react. If you don't like anorexia, drug hell isn't a whole lot better? Experimenting at this time can't possibly make things better or make you feel more comfortable or secure that it will be okay. Ask someone for help?
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"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius
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