Feeling down on myself tonight. Many whiny reasons that I won’t list here. Hope I feel better tomorrow. I have a TON of cleaning to do since I’ve been too sick to clean for a few weeks. I’m on the verge of making a bad decision relationship wise but I really want the attention of someone. The one I really want to be with isn’t ready (or doesn’t want me), I don’t want the one who DOES want me, the other is just a FWB but at least he’s a friend and there are some benefits. I can pretend it’s a real relationship but I know I’ll get hurt. I already did back in July.

My mind is still a mess. But it’s all real stuff, not bipolar ********. Not sure if that’s better or worse.