Quote:
Originally Posted by NewSmoke15
I have made a post here many months before about autoandrophilia. Within the past couple months though, I have been..... I don't really know. Let me explain: I am biologically female. I have always considered myself female for that reason (biological genders and gender identities are 2 way different things imo, but that's not the topic right now). I am also a lesbian. Whenever I picture myself having sex (I'm unfortunately still a virgin), it's always me with a penis. Not a strap-on, but an actual penis. I have no desire to be penetrated or have oral sex done to me or anything. I have no desire to have my genitals touched. Except if I had different genitals. Then it would be great! Now if I could choose to be a man, I wouldn't pass the offer up. But thinking of myself as a dude is so strange. Thinking how I couldn't cuddle with my mom anymore (at least without it seeming kinda weird), having a deep voice, possible facial hair. It all seems like just some fantasy that couldn't be real because it would be completely different than what I'm used to my whole life so far (I'm 20). But I know I can't fully enjoy sex unless I have a penis. A strap-on is not a solution because I don't have nerve endings in a sex toy. So I guess... I want to be a man? But it's just weird to come to terms with? I have always been a tomboy and have always felt more masculine and in my 2 relationships (never did more than make-out and over-the-clothes touching) I played a more masculine role. Another issue is my body. I am 4' 11" tall. Incredibly short in general. As a man, that would be just..... ridiculous. Im not trying to show any hatred towards other short people, I just hate my height. And even if I was a full foot taller, that would be considered somewhat short for a guy.
Even if I got a sex change I would hate my height and never feel like I truly want.
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I’ve far more experience with MtF transgendered women than FtM so I wouldn’t take (much of) my advice were I you!
FtM surgery is possible, of course, and you would be able to penetrate partners whilst achieving orgasm. I’m not speaking of a giant organ; just something that you could manage, really. I’m sure that you know more than I!
Your height. I admit to having a degree of ‘shortness’ prejudice. When I had legs, I was tall (a little over 6’4”) so I was accustomed to looking down even at tall men. My shortest female partner was 5’2”, I think, and I have a photo of us where I seem to be engulfing her with my height and broad shoulders. My first meeting with a 4’11” male? Yes, my initial reaction would be ‘easily dismissive.’ You would need to bowl me over in some other manner for me to accept you.
One other prejudice: you’ve never had sex with a woman or a man but you feel as though you’re a lesbian. Because you fantasize about penetrating women with your penis? You reject strap-on sex? There are hundreds of choices for strap-on dildos and some - many - stimulate the clitoris when used. I would strongly suggest finding stimulating strap-on gear and, most importantly, finding a partner open to be penetrated with same.
I know that there’s a lot of hooey out there about two-and-three-year-olds identifying as gay or lesbian or trans or bi or whatever but, based upon my experiences, I would have ‘identified’ as gay when I was twelve. After having sex with a woman at thirteen, however, I would have identified as ‘confused.’ It was only when my girlfriend’s sister explained what ‘bisexual’ meant that I identified as such (so did my girlfriend - who is now my current girlfriend - only she’s known as my ‘lady friend’ or ‘woman friend’).
I’m not saying that you are required to have sex with a woman to identify as lesbian and your wants/fantasies seem to indicate that you are gay but, if I were you, I would experiment some - with top-quality sex toys and top-quality partners - before going under the knife.
Hope that I made some sense... I’m flying on a kush carpet at the moment.