OK, may as well fess up to this here. So I'd been feeling like my transference for MC was fading, have discussed it with T, and I was planning on discussing that some in this Monday's MC session (I'd sent MC brief e-mail asking a couple questions about it, he suggested discussing Monday). So then I went to the concert last week of a band who has a few songs I associate with MC. I ended up getting really emotional at the show (like tears streaming down my face), then afterward, sent the following e-mail to MC (warning: pathetic sappiness ahead!):

"I was just at a concert ([band name redacted to avoid potentially revealing my location]--not expecting you to know who they are!), and they have a couple songs they played that I associate with you. And I know you can't reciprocate this feeling, but I have to share it anyway, just to get it out.

I love you so much. Maybe I'm not supposed to, but I do. Like I said, I know you can't reciprocate that, and I know things tend to get a bit wonky when I express feelings like that to you, but I'll take that risk.

Please just take my feelings and hold them or whatever the term is. You don't have to explain why you can't reciprocate. Don't thank me for saying that, like you did once before, because that's like if I'm saying I like your shirt.

Just say that's it's OK that I feel these things. That you can contain them, or whatever the psychologically appropriate term is. We don't have to discuss it on Monday, or ever, just say it's OK? And yeah I know you don't want to reassure me and just want me to sit with the anxiety and not need you to say anything--i know that's the ideal, and I'm working toward that, but am not quite there yet, so at least just type me a two-word response of "it's OK." I'm not asking for any more than that.

Thanks,
LT"

The next morning, I added, "Should have clarified that it's platonic, not romantic."

He responded that afternoon with:
"Yes, of course it’s ok. But I feel like this is something that is not trivial and that it would probably be better to discuss it, either with me or with T."

Comforted by the first part, but a bit concerned by the second. Something about the use of "not trivial." (This isn't the first time I've shared love feelings with him, though, checking my e-mail, it's apparently been over a year.) Not sure if he's expecting us to discuss in session Monday (scared!), but I asked if we could possibly schedule a phone call in the next week or two to discuss (rather than him calling at some random, unexpected time like usual if I ask him to call--and I offered to pay).

So...clearly I was a bit premature in saying the transference was going away...