Honestly there is no magical good solution because it is within you.

You know what youvare willing to tolerate. You know what behaviors your H respondes to well & what he doesnt so if you have decided thst staying in an abusive marriage is what you want for yourself then it is ALL up to you to take on the behaviors that work in your environment. YOU need to adapt your values to him & remind yourself that you really dint care how you are treated because staying is more important to you than anything else in life.

Oh yes, I had health issues when I wasvin my marriage too. Got news for you. Stress tears down your immune system & causes us all kinds of health crap to go on in our bodies which traps us to them even more. I had times when I had a reaction to meds thst I couldnt even walk by myself. I wondered when I finally left him if I could ever take care of myself alone because I had never lived by myself ever in my 54 years of life.

Funny thing I have been healthier sonce I left him than ever before in my life too. Sometimes the limiting reasons we place on our life hurt more than help.

Like I said ONLY you can figure outwhat you have to do in your own situation to make it tolerable enough for your own self since that IS WHAT YOU WANT for your life. Not living there we cant tell you the best way to react....only YOU know that & only you can do what is necessary to manage & feel the way you want to feel while accepting that you are just in an abusive marriage.

Lol, if one were to take the serenity prayer literally the way you seem to want to, one could say im not going to stop drinking because they feel it is something they could NOT possibly change in themselves so just accept it as a hardship & their pathway to peace.

Chosing to live in an abusive marriage & thinking its a hardship that leads to a pathway of peace. Sometimes TRUSTING that He (God) will make all things right takes ACTION on our part to do what we are led to do to MAKE IT RIGHT. When a door is opened, dont slam it shut because in your thinking you dont believe that door leads to ehere things are being made right. In other words dont limit yoyr thinking to other solutions than having to stay in an abusive marriage...by staying you may NOT be surrendering to His will.

But only you can figure outvwhat you can to to make it so you can tolerate where you are. Change your thinking & attitude about the situation you are in so you dont care how you are being treated. About the only possible way to numb yourself to an abusive situation.