(((Lt))) why do you want the transference to go away? Thats not how i use it. I use transference as my confidence - for big things or small things. I can stand up to other people because i know my t is standing behind me, supporting my decisions.

I never had that with my parents. What you said about your mom giving you the evil eye at the funeral last week when you mentioned your daughter - that reminded me SO MUCH of my mother and me at family gatherings. She would defend herself, saying she wanted to "make sure i wasnt saying something stupid". Dude, how are WE stupid?!

Emotionally bereft, maybe. But with such emotional underminers around us, emotional vampires, really. I would ask you to look at transference as a transfusion - giving you the love, the lifeblood the other adults in your life are sucking out of you.

So no, its not trivial. The incident with the dog, and others with your daughter, show us your husband doesnt really support you. He sounds like a pretty good, very involved dad, but idk - you need to do like an Outward Bound camping week or something to get your courage up, your inner sense of strength?