Things go well for me, I have come far in my recovery, and then the past hits me. I then see I have so much inside of me that I still can not ignore, that I need to share. I get such bad memories of the abuse, and then the anger arises. I start seeing myself in the mirror in a distorted way. I think who is that ugly person looking at me in the mirror. It is as if though I see myself in a distorted way. Plus, when I am dealing with so much pain I do not feel good about myself. The pain is so unbearable, and I do not want to be around people. I fear they will see me the way I see myself in the mirror, or they will sense how badly I feel in the inside. It is as if though I am carrying this terrible thing deep inside of me. Thank you for letting me share.