i just wanted to thank you all so much. Perna, mouse, sunrise, EVERYONE. You have all helped me through this. thank you so much for your words and support and advice. I'm glad i was able to teach something to you all. I've learned it too. I knew from the beginning even before Perna told me maybe i should be more direct, i knew that skipping was not the right way to handle it. But i had never tried it. I needed to do it. I needed to get the reaction i wanted. (i did get what i wanted, actually, she called me. And thats what i wanted in the first place right??) But even though she called, after i talked to her it wasn't the feeling i was going for. I felt foolish and childish like my mommy was disappointed in me. She didn't give me comfort.

Sunrise, you are right. I've had problems with emailing before because i get everything out and then i have nothing to say in session. Me and T already talked about that. and i did stop emailing for awhile but sometimes i can't help it. The difference with this situation i think is now they both will be printed out and i told her i want to go over EACH and EVERY sentence of both emails. These will not get by unnoticed. i hope. But thank you all again, i really appreciate your responses. I check my computer every day, (more than i should probably) and i check 2 things. One is if T emailed me, and two is if i got any responses on PC. I never have emails from T, so coming here to see people that took time to read and respond to my issues helps a lot. And i wrote that distressed post right after i got off the phone with T. It was my first instinct. I needed support and T is the first person i want it from, but since it had to do with her, coming here was my second choice.

Thank you all, again. ((((hugsss))))