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Originally Posted by unaluna
(((Lt))) why do you want the transference to go away? Thats not how i use it. I use transference as my confidence - for big things or small things. I can stand up to other people because i know my t is standing behind me, supporting my decisions.
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I guess it's more that I want the dependence to go away, the neediness, the sitting here thinking, "Why hasn't he responded to my e-mail?" Thinking about him all the time.... I want to eventually feel OK with no longer seeing him. I thought I was getting to that point recently, but now not so sure... I mean, maybe this is just part of working through the end of it, being like, "OK it's going away--wait, no, I'm not ready, still really attached!"
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I never had that with my parents. What you said about your mom giving you the evil eye at the funeral last week when you mentioned your daughter - that reminded me SO MUCH of my mother and me at family gatherings. She would defend herself, saying she wanted to "make sure i wasnt saying something stupid". Dude, how are WE stupid?!
Emotionally bereft, maybe. But with such emotional underminers around us, emotional vampires, really. I would ask you to look at transference as a transfusion - giving you the love, the lifeblood the other adults in your life are sucking out of you.
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Hm, that's one way to look at it...as more of a positive instead of a negative.
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So no, its not trivial. The incident with the dog, and others with your daughter, show us your husband doesnt really support you. He sounds like a pretty good, very involved dad, but idk - you need to do like an Outward Bound camping week or something to get your courage up, your inner sense of strength? 
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You have a good memory! (Oh, God, I sound like my T now...next I'll start responding to one of your posts with an empathic "Mmm"). H is a good dad and tries to be a good husband--I feel like much of it is on me, that I expect too much, that I'm too needy and demanding as a wife, that my expectations are too high...Hm, I wonder where those thoughts come from (see: my mother, above). And I feel like I could be a much better wife to him as well...