Ex-T definitely thought much of it was my OCD. For a long time, I was very defensive about talking about the OCD, not sure why--it feels like it has more stigma than anxiety or depression. Also because my mom would use things like, "You're being rather obsessive about x" as a really negative comment. And I got in trouble for some of my obsessive worries about health/contamination. OK, I guess I know why...But it almost seemed like ex-T was being critical of it, too, or saying the stuff for MC was just an OCD symptom, which to me suggested that it wasn't real feelings. (Then again, I also have negative maternal transference for ex-T, so...)

I've felt more comfortable talking about OCD stuff lately, though, and spent a good part of a session talking to current T about it. He just seems so much less judgmental about stuff--I think it's something in his delivery (and, the fact that I don't have negative maternal transference for him probably helps...). I often felt like ex-T was judging me, which made me more reluctant to talk about certain things.

Mostly talked to current T about the OCD in terms of contamination fears and stuff, but did touch on some of the obsessive thoughts. Should probably dive into that a bit more... And MC recently said he thought OCD might be behind my difficulty in completing tasks and staying organized because of the perfectionism aspect.

In terms of OCD meds, I'm under the impression (from what ex-T said and what I've read) that the one that works well for it is...hm, I can't think of name right now, but it's one of the older tricyclic antidepressants that is supposed to have tons of side effects. I'm currently on Zoloft (and have tried most other SSRIs, SNRIs, Wellbutrin, and a couple random other things, like Abilify and Lamictal). Some have helped a bit with anxiety and/or depression, but not so much the OCD. I do see my p-doc Thursday, so I'll bring that up with her.