Quote:
Originally Posted by junkDNA
This has been my experience but the neediness and dependence only lessened when I agreed to restrict texts and emails with my T... And constantly asking him for the reassurance. I got to the point where I think I was creating crises and issues just to reach out to him and say I need him to tell me it's ok. You often say you're not quite there yet. In my case it just reinforced the neediness and dependence. If T and I had kept on texting like we were I would have never felt the little more independence I do from him.
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Yeah, I know I probably need to do that... but as you know, it's hard to break the habit. I can do better with it for a bit and not really contact him, then...fall back into it. And right now I'm sitting here wondering if he's going to respond to my e-mail(s) to say if he'd be open to a scheduled call in the next week or two or wants to discuss in session--and if it's session, if he could let me bring it up instead of putting me on the spot. And I know that if I don't hear anything tonight, I'll end up texting him something like, "Nervous about next session" tomorrow...
I think that's a good thing with new T that he charges for longer e-mails/texts/calls--it's keeping me from getting into bad habits. Yet he's still there if I REALLY need him, both if I am willing to pay for e-mail/text/call or to meet in person. He's generally able to schedule an earlier or extra session or half-session because his schedule is more flexible than MC's (smaller client caseload, since he also does some writing and stuff)--which, if it's the same cost, I'd certainly rather meet in person (plus then I can get 60% reimbursement from my insurance--not so much for a paid e-mail). So as much as I was somewhat annoyed by T's boundaries at first...now I get it. (I can still send him something really brief with no charge and say I don't really want a response, but I'm trying to avoid getting into that habit, too...)