Perna, I do see a T and it's clear that this is happening because in real life I am being accused of things I didn't do so that with the anniversary is too much for my brain. I also have feelings of confusion as when he died I was happy to know he did good in his life despite severe mental and physical illness. I think it is stirring up another abuser's stuff. My mother. Always accusing me of being a horrid person, doing bad things etc. Make sense?