Quote:
Originally Posted by ElectricManatee
He's also doing that intermittent reinforcement thing. You have to keep trying, but eventually (not consistently!) he will give you the response you're looking for. It's the same psychological principle that keeps people parked in front of slot machines. Intermittent reinforcement makes it much tougher to kick the habit.
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Yes, exactly, great point--I was just thinking about something like this, though in terms of his reinforcing insecure attachment. I didn't know the psychological thing about intermittent reinforcement--interesting...and MC should know that! He probably doesn't consciously realize he's doing it though...(I know, I make too many excuses for him...)
I think he's trying to avoid reassuring me too much, so like you said, he's just doing it intermittently. Where I have to be like, E-mail 1: "I'm kind of worried/upset." E-mail 2: "OK, still worried/upset." Text: "Freaking out now!" Then he'll reply. Though other times he responds right away.... And sometimes he says exactly what I want/need to hear...and other times, it's "Let's talk in session" or some response that totally misses the mark/upsets me. And then...I mean, last week, I got an unexpected phone call in response to an e-mail (or 2)--sort of the equivalent of a jackpot, almost...