Yes well, avoidance is a way to try to not encounter things that may be bad for us. I guess it's about recognising when we are doing it at the time and knowing why we do that still. Is it an old coping mechanism that isn't needed so much now?

I try to avoid confrontation as much as possible, this leads me to shutting down when actually I should communicate rather than prolonging the agony. In the past it was good for me to avoid confrontation because of the abuse that might happen if I opened my mouth. I don't need to avoid communication in the here and now, I won't get hurt like that now. For me, I have to try and catch myself before going into that avoidance mode, it takes time and a lot of patience.