I should perhaps say more about this:

Today he called me a "piece of work" when I mentioned in a neutral manner that I needed him to contribute to our joint account to keep it in funds for when he is going to be away on a holiday. He went on to rage at me for a bit, angrily berating me.

One thing I am wondering is whether I should say something to name what he did as abusive and to say it isn't acceptable or whether I should just ignore what he said & go and do something else. I know there are various other options. But I am still confused by how to respond to his abuse and I tend to get upset and blank when he does it.

I've been with him for a long time & it never has been good for long. I don't know how I "survived" it this far and I am feeling as if I need to review everything & change what I can as I don't think I can take much more.