I can definitely sympathize with you. I feel on the rare occasions when I do try to vent, sometimes he hears me complaining (which I am) but also has this male ego going on that I’m somehow asking him to fix it for me.
I’m not. I’m asking for the space to be heard, acknowledged & seen in the relationship. Basically that I matter just as much.
When he vents to me a majority of the time it’s over these injustices he sees & political situations at work he has to deal with.
After 20some yrs I’m kind of tired of hearing about the same, belly aching, issues. Thru the yrs I’ve always listened. When I’d disagree he’d say I wasn’t listening or I just didn’t understand.
Now what I see is a totally different personality he has at work, but then comes homes & emotionally regurgitates all over me at home bec subconsciously I think he hates the person he is at work.

We have a lot of basic communication issues. I can say something but what I’ve noticed is that he twists what I’m saying & hears something totally different.

This yr I’ve tried to call him out on this; to show him & he hates it. I’m not trying to be cruel to him but I’ve lived in silence with him for a hell of a long time. I’m tired.

When you vent does he know that all you wanto do is be heard or for him to have sympathy, empathy?