I am glad you feel stronger.... I just worry for you. I, too, have been through multiple abusive relationships. They are mentally and emotionally exhausting, beyond maddening and wear on a person's self-esteem, self-worth, self-respect and sense of self. If somehow, you can survive his abuse, rise above it all and remain unscathed, kudos to you!! It takes a lot of mental self-protection to survive and also maintain one's mental health.... I hope this works out Ok for you in the end and that your mental health is preserved. (((((((many hugs))))))