I can't relate to not knowing what happened, but I can relate to incredible grief after multiple losses in my life. All you can do is take it one day at a time. Let yourself feel however you feel. Cry when you need to. Talk about him. Whether to your friends or on here, keep talking.

Also I talk to my parents all the time. Especially when driving. I see them as my angels and run through my life with them. It makes me feel like they are here with me all the time.

I am very sorry for your loss. Hugs.