I have a sis in law that I heavily clash with. She's a nutritionalist, and a classically trained gormet chef. She always tries to manage my diet without me really asking her to do so whenever she visits. She tries to get me to eat super healthy.

When she and my brother last came for Christmas, she asked around what dishes we'd like for Christmas dinner. We all told her what we wanted (stuffing was my choice) and she never actually made any of these dishes. When she does cook, she uses every pot and pan in the kitchen and then some (last time we had to buy more for her to use). And then she claims she's tired from making that elaborate meal and leaves us to clean up everything.

When I last saw her, we had a huge fight. I was tired from a day out shopping or something and just needed some time to recharge. She said I could do that after I cleaned my room up. All I needed was half an hour at the most to rest and my sis in law was acting like she was my mother and demanding that my room be cleaned right that moment. Well, I decided to go to my room and just lock the door so I could have space in my own room to gather my thoughts but she came right after me and wouldn't let me even do that. We got into a huge verbal argument and I haven't talked to her or my brother since.

Before that though, was the time my parents and I were visiting at my bother and sis in laws house. It was right after Thanksgiving and they wanted help putting up their Christmas decorations (they always have projects they put off until someone is in town and then everyone is roped into doing them). I was getting sullen about having to work putting up decorations instead of doing something fun with my brother. Mom recognized it and said to me to just go upstairs but my sis in law wouldn't have it. She wanted to have me right there, fully emotional instead of me going somewhere quiet and out of the way to cool down.

What happened? She blocked my only exit, I went into flight or fight mode and tried to get past her, knocked her down and was told by my angry parents that I needed to leave the house for a while.

Now I'm not even allowed to go and visit my own brother anymore because of my outbursts around my sis in law. I was especially upset about this because my brother got really sick last year around Christmas. He was bleeding internally and according to my sis in law, looked pale and sickly. Everyone was scared and my mom talked about flying out to be with him. I said I was going to, and she said that was the last thing my sis in law needed.

Turns out it was just some massive polyps in his colon that were causing the bleeding. We were all lucky, but what if he was dying? I couldn't go see him because it would stress out my sis in law too much? What about how I was feeling? What about me?

I love my older brother, but don't know how to deal with his wife......life sure is complicated.