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Loose Screw x 2 · Dec 10, 2017, 08:45 PM

This topic struck something in me. For many years on and off I have had what I can only describe as "sexual discomfort" around a certain family member.

Possible trigger:

This started when I was a teenager and when I was 17 I began to suspect that this person was perverted not just by some strange feelings of intuition that I felt in their presence but, having uncomfortable feelings of arousal that I tried to fight off and ignore. Later, I found out that this same family member molested another member of our family when they were around 16 years of age. The one who did the molesting I mean. I do have a very disturbing sexual memory involving this person but, they didn't touch me in the memory. So this strange discomfort still happens sometimes when I'm around this person. During my teenage years when I had sexual fantasies I would be tempted to bring this family member into the fantasy and struggled to push that memory away out of outrage and disgust. I also have OCD really bad and am medicated for it so, I'm also wondering if that may have something to do with it since OCD likes to use egodystonic thoughts to distress it's sufferers with.

So am I maybe just over reacting or could there be something to this?
BTW, TrailRunner14, I hate that these hurtful things have happened to you but, it sounds like your counselor is helping you to deal with it. Facing pain is never easy but, coming out victorious and learning to put it behind you will reinforce your resolve and strengthen you.