My husband aunt told me yesterday when I was talking to my husband that she’s never seen me smile and laugh like that. And it’s true I don’t smile and laugh.She has known me for 17 years. I’m a nervous wreck, I don’t talk, I kind of sit in the corner and wait until others talk to me. I haven’t alway been like this. I just don’t find anything funny, interesting and have nothing to say. I’m constantly telling people I’m okay. Even told his cousin I do nothing when asked what I do for a living. I can’t live like this. I don’t use recreational drugs because they make me want to harm myself. How do you redesign yourself when you can’t even speak?