We all know that vacations are important for everyone, including t's. But when do the frequency of t vacations become irresponsible? Or do they?

To me, it seems reasonable for a t to take a couple of vacations per year (up to 2 weeks each time). But how about more than that?

Within a 6-month period, my t has planned two 1-week-long trips to Oregon, a 2-week cruise, and a 2-week trip to Hawaii. She has already taken 3 of the 4 trips. This has also coincided with our having had a serious rift between us that is not entirely repaired.

I feel like her trips are becoming excessive, and I feel angry. However, I don't feel like I should say anything because she is already past retirement age, and her husband recently retired. She only works 3 days per week as it is. I feel that if I make a big deal out of it, she may just retire entirely, and then I won't have ANY sessions anymore. I am not ready for that!

Should I just keep quiet and deal with my discomfort myself?

I'm at a place in therapy where I can manage to miss a session once a month (which is what it usually amounts to). Also, I can have two sessions the week before she leaves if I want to, although I don't think that arrangement is a good idea on a continuous basis.

I guess my anger isn't based on my perception that I can't tolerate missing a session every once in awhile...it's more a feeling that my t is being irresponsible toward her clients (including me) by being gone so often.

Those of you who have read my threads recently about the problems with my t will recall that our rift was about her not being around (or available) in previous times of crisis. Obviously, her taking more frequent vacations will make her even less accessible should I need her support outside sessions.

On the other hand, I've been working to distance myself from my t emotionally, enough that I no longer feel the need to contact her between sessions. So I think that has lessened my feelings of connection with her or my need for closeness or help.

Also, because she hasn't been very reliable in the past for support when I've needed it, I most likely would never contact her anyway if a crisis arose while she was gone. I would deal with it some other way.

Still, it has been hard for me to take these steps back from her...very hard. I'm trying so much to be independent and responsible, but I already have struggled to stop emailing. Why do I have to now also struggle with missing sessions so often?

I think it ticks me off too a bit that my t discouraged me from finding a different therapist recently. If she wants to keep working with me and sincerely wants to help me, why do I feel like she's been putting her needs ahead of mine so much lately? Is it just me? Am I expecting too much?

Advice, anybody?

Peaches