I've been wondering whether I have depression. I seem to get up in the morning quite easily and I feel generally happy. I have suicidal thoughts but they come and go. I just feel like people have been telling me I have depression or there's something wrong with me. I may have mild depression but I can cope well with my life. I've been to doctors countless amount of times and they'd prefer for me to refer myself to counselling or give me pills. I wish I could get a diagnose since these problems keep popping up. It's frustrating. In my mind, I've had people tell me there's something wrong with me. I can easily live my life happily. they don't know me personally so how do they know? It's hard to explain. It's partly my mum's narcissistic abuse that make me blame myself for everything and make me feel like I'm better off dead.