Thank you. My mother is bad to talk with. To be honest, there aren't that many people I can talk to in my life right now, but I did join therapy again. She did help today, but it costs a lot of money. Hopefully within a few months, I'll have some direction to go in, where I won't need weekly therapy, but I am desperate right now. I don't know if the father will ever send me a note, letting me know how the death happened. He knew me, but not very well. Since my friend was so isolated and depressed, he opted out of a lot of family functions, so I didn't get to know them well. I left my contact info, but that's all I can really do. I am realizing that even if nobody tells me anything, I do have some answers. He was really depressed and bent on self-destruction, so I think it caught up with him.

I miss him so much. I'm going to try to connect with him through talking to him, visiting the grave sight (now there's no stone there, just a marker), and maybe some guided meditation to get me more in tune spiritually. My therapist suggested if I should go to go see a Medium to try to connect more, although she said she could not really advise me around spiritual stuff. It's very expensive. For now, I think I'll just try these things on my own.