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My mom tries to avoid talking to him so I end of usually speaking with him for a few hours.
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Each call lasts a few hours? That's a long time! How well can you actually afford this kind of time in view of your schoolwork and other responsibilities?
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To be honest, I get frustrated when talking for too long about a topic
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No wonder!
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I am uncomfortable when he keeps trying to make a point and teach his principles to me. I understand and appreciate his advice, but I am not too interested with his abstract concepts or examples. I try to tell him, but he says it’s interesting to him (like differences between similar words/concepts) and “I’ll eventually get it later.”
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He sometimes suggests things I don’t appreciate, for example, paying for someone to drive me just because he wants me to take swimming lessons. He currently lives by himself and sometimes visits his family members, so I understand why he wants to teach and be like a fatherly figure, but I don’t know how to steer conversations away when he tries teaching stuff I don’t like to me.
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What if you say "Thanks for your suggestions, I will think about them, I am really grateful for the interest you take in me."?
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Is there any way I can try to talk about other things
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How does he respond if you start to speak about what is going on with you?
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or should I listen and find a way to understand what he is trying to say? It is difficult since English is his second language and he speaks another language that I know, but he insists on using English, so I often get confused when he explains things to me.
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What if you say "Dad, I understand these ideas better in ______, could you please explain them to me in ________?"
If he insists on using English, what if you say, politely, as often as necessary "I'm sorry, I still don't understand it in English."
Overall, it sounds like it could be beneficial to try to be more assertive with him. Just because he has a lot of time to speak on the phone, and just because your mother wants to avoid him, doesn't mean that you need to be tied to the phone!
What does your mother say about the amount of time you spend with him on the phone? To what extent is she willing to help you reduce it?
How assertive are you generally?
Ask yourself: "What would I say if one of my friends was speaking like this to me?" Once you have that in mind, think about how you could say that, or something similar, to your father.
You can do it!
