Quote:
Originally Posted by Carmina
I 'see' it in 3 levels/perspectives:
1) through my eyes as I experienced and remember it consciously (ie explicitly)
2) through my embodied perceptions, sensations and dispositions (ie implicitly)
3) and also as a disembodied floating other (3rd person dissociated - probably through an alter me).
For a long time I mainly had access to level 2 and consequently couldn't understand why I was acting certain ways (or rather my body and unconscious mind understood but my conscious brain didn't), now I have access to levels 1 and 3 I have more to work on.
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This sounds about right for me in some ways. Mostly my experiences are like "1)" and I'm not real certain of "2)" except from one trauma that I endured at about 5 years of age and "3)" sounds like a lot of my memories as a child even the one where I first became self aware. That one is like both "1)" and "3)". I'm not certain of this but, I feel like the memories that are OBE-like are -for me- about the revulsion of what happened and of the physical contact thereof is so uncomfortable to remember that I prefer to remember it from the outside and as a result of those feelings that's what happens with me. Kind of like dreading a coming sensation, knowing how it's going to feel and recoiling from it.