((((((((((( Kathy ))))))))))

I had a dear friend here who had adopted two little girls 20+ years ago because she thought she could never had children. After a couple of years they discovered that these darling little girls were very sick with mental and emotional illness due to being alcohol syndrome babies.

One of the daughters who ended up with a lot of issues was very physically abusive towards my friend. My friend dealt with this for many years working her way through the system and trying to find help. The daughter tells horrible strories of abuse that my friend supposedly did to her...of course none of them were true. But oh, what she went through in the meantime until they found a home for her daughter to live in. To this day, there is some contact, but very little.

My friend had her heart ripped out numerous times through the years and to this day, her daughter still tries to pull the old button pushing with her, but my friend stands strong and makes her responsible for her words and actions, much to the dislike of the daughter.

What I'm trying to say is this hon.....don't let this child that you love bring you down to a point of feeling guilty, and questioning your abilities or doing what you feel is best for your family as a whole. It sounds like your daughter will probably never "get it" because of her illness. It is not her fault, nor is it YOUR fault. All you can do is stick to your guns and she will either have to change her behavior or not....it's up to her and those who assist her in everyday living. Maybe they will have some success in helping her learn better behavior.

Letting go of a child and seeing them suffering in illness is so difficult and my heart goes out to you sweety. Remember that you and your family have a right to live as happily as you can...and sometimes that means having to put limitations on contact with your daughter in order to accomplish what is best for the whole.


sabby