Thanks everyone for your help. You really put alot of thought into helping me understand the question better by breaking it down. I guess the problem I am having after thinking about all this is:
1.I dont feel I have what it takes to make myself happy ( let alone anyone else)
2.And I think I am also scared off wanting to be happy because if I do attain it somehow, I'll lose it .

I know this must sound rediculous. I dont know if I have made my point clear either. Seems when I read it.. its missing something. I think T and I will need to talk about this more tomorrow to see for sure what is preventing me from feeling this is attainable for me. I hope to come home and get this figured out better.

Thanks again.
Beth