Last year I had a therapist that had very unclear and constantly changing boundaries and it really messed me up, so for me, the most important thing is consistency with boundaries and knowing what to expect from the T. If she isn’t going to go the extra mile, all I ask is to know that in advance.

My current T goes above and beyond for me at times when I really need it, for instance staying an extra half hour or so with me if I’m really in crisis mode just to help talk me down to get to a safe place, rather than just ending our session with me not feeling well like used to happen with old T all of the time. I think, personally, though that should be a baseline requirement to make sure the client is okay before leaving. And okay doesn’t mean to me just not an immediate danger to themselves, but okay as in they aren’t dysregulated/leaving feeling lost and way worse than when they came in. That happened to me constantly with former T, so I’m very grateful that current T spends the extra time with me when she can and I’m truly in need of it. At the same time though, she finds the balance where she’s very clear with her boundaries.