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Old Dec 12, 2017, 01:34 AM
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Carmina Carmina is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Sep 2017
Location: A Growlery in the UK
Posts: 1,158
Quote:
Originally Posted by Heir2theThorn View Post
Thanks for explaining it in this way. If you're willing to elaborate, can you explain more about what happened when you went from only having access to "Level 2" and started having access to the other levels?

Up until this image, I have only had access to what you describe as "Level 2" (I just spontaneously say or scream out words, or feel extreme fear or subtle body sensations). And I have no explicit/felt memory of an actual event, so I don't even know exactly what happened to me, but I wonder if this image is the beginning of some narrative or actual "remembering."
Sorry I missed this until now. Yes I started using poetry as a sort of breadcrumb trail through my memories (a metaphorical diary) building associations from sensations and embodied memories, and painting to physically 'dance out' the feelings and enable me to get a handle on them (often I also combine both). I've always had flashes of level 1 as well that served as chinks in my armoring. The hardest thing was believing myself, at times it seems I lived in a dream-like state in my childhood and everything from that time is vague and fuzzy, what is real, what is fantasy? So I tried to find evidence from other family members and just pure logic to ground those memories.