1. Depression - sometimes I go for years between depressive episodes; my last one started in 2011 and ended around April 2016 (though I was in a mixed state on and off during this depressive episode)--I have compulsive suicidal thoughts and feel like no one could possibly endure the sorry, boring worthless person I have become--I want to hide. I feel to numb to connect to people. Sex is blah. My depressive periods are why I have no friends because I would stop making phone calls, replying to letters and emails, really, just avoid people as much as possible because I knew I was not very enjoyable to be with. I hate this state so much and always feel so elated and grateful when it ends.
2. Anxiety/insomnia - when I can't sleep because I can't stop myself from compulsive worrying - I no longer drink but this was when it would be very tempting to drink whatever alcohol was in the house (Beer or wine--I rarely bought hard liquor that I liked--H used to sometimes have some good scotch around--I do not like scotch).
3. Hypomania/irritability.
4. Hypomania/extreme happiness - I like this state but it can sometimes be annoying for others.
5. Paranoia - happens occassionally to me but usually based on a grain of truth (Example, if my husband monitored what I wrote on PC then he must be monitoring everything--who has time to monitor you 24 hours a day?; if someone is smoking pot they might be using harder drugs!--no, most pot smokers do not use heroin, but these are the types of conclusions I can't shake sometimes.).