I totally have failed at my studies I got an F in exam which I have never done before. I feel I have nothing left in life. I had one job and I have failed that too. Pathetic. I feel like I'm doing this on purpose but I can't control it. I keep telling myself I'm depressed but that's a lie I'm just utterly lazy. Today I was feeling suicidal but I did not want my family to be hurt. I feel like I maybe should get help but there's nothing wrong with me I should just grow up and stop being like this.