Something sticks out to me about your post. This statement:

"I really hate the silent treatment. My mother used to do that and he knows it."

Often the relationships we find ourselves in during adulthood mimic the earliest relationships we had as children. I imagine, personality-wise, your husband has a lot in common with your mother. I imagine she helped shaped you into a woman who can take a lot of negativity and still cherish the smallest "morsel" of positivity at the end of the day. She probably helped you become a woman who can walk around on eggshells every day trying not to disturb the beast that is your husband, a woman who may continue to live this way if her kids weren't pushing her to get this rough brute out of their lives for good. They want you to break the cycle.

I'm also assuming that your husband is not the father of these kids. That gives them some distance and perspective. Kids who see their father treat their mother this was for their whole lives are less likely to stand up to him.

Your children love you -- you're obviously a very good and cherished mother. Stay with that. Focus on that. You have an abundance of unconditional love from these kids. You need that to fill up your tank now -- not a pittance of approval from some guy who appears to have no respect for you whatsoever.

It's going to be difficult throwing him out of your life, but you have to remember that on the other side of this situation you gain your family. They get to have their happy mother back in their lives. That's all they want.

Stay safe - the national domestic violence hotline is an incredible resource.

“Fear is the cheapest room in the house.
I would like to see you living
In better conditions.”

― Hafiz