I woke up however many days ago and realized that the two people I was have stuck as one... I done went and meshed up. I had a bit of a laugh at myself over it, one morning I was feeling crowded because Tay was up in my head with me, copresent type thing, and when he was gone I was thinking how nice it was to be alone again. Then I laughed and thought, no, you're not alone, you're both here... no... not both... me. No push pull, no he's in front, she's there but in back and no push pull rotate/fluxuate between the two... just a me where two were. I just sat there a minute and had a woah moment. So I went and had myself a nice piece of celebratory honey cake I also finally settled on a new name. So far there is no system wide upset or anything over this and I'm glad for that... not that I was expecting any upset, but still, I like to prepare for the worst just in case.

Now and then I think to myself that I should be doing more about this, something like maybe trying to figure out what is the same or different or I dunno... something. But then I get busy doing some life thing. It's not like I'm being avoidant or detaching, just it doesn't seem necessary because I'm me. I don't know if that makes sense, but it feels important to me, like, even though I am a new version of me, I've somehow always been this way and as stupid as it sounds I think I might have a better handle on who I am now as this new me than I ever had as the two me's I was before. Life is weird.

-Avery