This -- fortunately or unfortunately -- really strikes a nerve.

I have NEVER had a T who could tolerate my puking.

I even used the v***ing analogy with my last T. I told her that it was like I went to the doctor because I had this uncontrolled v***ing and the receptionist said, you can't stay here in the waiting room with that uncontrolled v****ing, come back when you're not v***ing any more or can control it. yeah.

The T said she didn't want me to have to leave -- but eventually, when I got into the room with her, the "doctor", the specialist even, she could not tolerate it either. WTF.

There IS no help in the world for this uncontrolled v***ing. None in the therapists' "book of tricks", or methodologies. Nothing.

I CAN "control" it, turn it off, in order not to be rejected. But then there's a lot -- well the whole system of gut instincts, etc. -- that is turned off with it.