What you are learning about your mother is the reason you never said anything to begin with. Often when it comes to finally telling the truth, you learn that the people you should not tell are often the very dysfunctional people that you could not talk to about this to begin with.

As far as taking what you had said about thoughts of taking your own life so seriously, even though you would not really do that, these conversations always have to be taken seriously to make sure the individual is not in danger of acting on these ideas.

As far as your mother trying to blame "you" if this causes HER plans about her life to change because of how your step father was with you? She is wrong to blame you, this is HIS doing and she needs to see the TRUTH about him, even if she doesn't want to see that truth. The TRUTH can be hard, yet, it's important to face the truth even though it can be hard to accept.

HOWEVER, we have actually been learning a lot by all the things that have been coming out when it comes to individuals who abused and how that is received once something does come out.

Often one of the things that happens is "shock" and discomfort from family or individuals who might have been close with the abuser who never saw this side of them. Another thing that is expressed as in the case of Bill Cosby's wife and even his children is "denial" and this is false because my father/ husband could never do that. Even Katie Couric has not been able to comment other than how this is "shocking". And it's very possible that she NEVER saw this side of this man she THOUGHT she knew and worked next to for several years and considered a safe good friend.

So, what we are seeing in a very public way right now is showing just how much people genuinely struggle to accept a reality and are looking to find a way to deny and embrace the person they thought they knew and could trust.

We are at a point where we have to address what actually constitutes abuse or inappropriate behaviors too. We are facing this as a society right now and while it's popped up before, it always seemed to be a big GRAY area, kind of like yeah, yeah it's bad but we know a lot of people do it scenario. We really need to sit and consider the culture that pushes the lines to a point where things are viewed as acceptable even when they really should not be. How there really had been that hot group, that cool group of guys that were known as the "rat pack". These guys that have two different sides to them really is not NEW. The original movie "Ocean's eleven" pretty much got them all together, ironically the later remake was pretty much the same, they were the current bad boy rat pack. Truth is, people LIKE to pretend this doesn't really exist but IT HAS and for a long time too.

It's time to have that BIG discussion and finally define the lines better.