I hope your therapist didnt mean she was going to terminate you, and recognizes if you are invested and working. I feel that she should own her power position, and reach out a hand to you, make you feel seen, and take responsibility that the theraputic relationship between you is a solid part of her job and in her jurisdiction to make work for you both. If you feel so estranged from your T that you want to quit before she terminates you, it is a big make it or break it therapy moment. A rupture that needs repair. You sound vulnerable, and that you would like for it to work?

In real life, I spend almost all my mental energy reading people, and people -pleasing lol; I try to adapt to the worldview( I know this is unhealthy) of others and speak their language fluently rather than checking in with myself. I never knew that until this year of therapy. Because of this , my therapist freaks me out and I never feel I know him that much better week to week. None of the ( hyper vigilant) ways I feel socially proficient and skilled are allowed in the room. The neutral stance scares me, the lack of cues, the lack of all the feedback people offer in waterfalls in normal life are missing. Every other week I think he is going to be done with me, even though he is reliable, insightful, consistent - every good thing. The power play inherent in therapy feel awful to me. One person plays poker with their cards up and one person plays with their cards hidden. I have so many times almost quit because I got in a negative interpretation of him, and actually I think therapy in many ways does mirror unhealthy relating in how unreciprical it feels. I do see a lot of progress and I do like and admire my T as a person, as much as I really question the frame idea and dislike that some T's do not own their power or even realize how much they scare us.