Yeah it looks like we have a lot of the same symptoms. Its really hard to deal with for me. I would never commit suicide but honestly I cant live like this anymore. I do the same things everyday, nothing is fun, I can hardly even feel anymore, the last 4 or 5 years is just a blur, and my childhood is like some story that someone told me. I keep trying to make big changes but I never do and when I try nothing good happens. A lot of days I just feel like stopping, like giving up because its a challenge to do even little things. I mean its like mentally hard on me and I get exhausted with the smallest things.

I still have good days and bad days, but even my good days are horrible. Sometimes I just feeling like running away and leaving all of this behind, but then I realize that its my mind and that theres no escape from that. I dont know what Im going to do but I have to do something, noone should have to live like this. I still have some hope left.