My therapist thinks I have no chance of feeling better until after Christmas. I didn’t follow her logic. It had something to do with grief. Thing is I’m not experiencing pure grief. If I were I could handle it a lot better. It is grief mixed with abject depression. I really think this therapist discounts the bipolar part of all this. Or perhaps I put too much emphasis on it.

All I know is I feel horrible. And maybe I won’t feel better until the holidays are over. That’s an awful thought. I don’t want that to be the case at all.

The dr upped the rexulti to see if that would help but I don’t have much faith.

I just want to close my eyes and sleep forever.