Thank you WC. I never imagined a decade ago, before my first hospitalization with a manic psychosis how fragile a good life is and how difficult and precarious health and well being can be to maintain or recover.

I thought I had done well to get through a serious bout of cancer treatment without having an episode.

Then I stopped taking my 5 mg of olanzapine because my blood sugar had been reading in the pre-diabetes range. Sure enough my blood sugar normalized but together with cannabis i went off the deep end big time and now have more problems than i ever could have imagined, and i am so alone too because I have lost the few friends that I had.

I really don't know what to do about that.

It was a mental instability together with cannabis, together with not working anymore and social isolation that has driven me into this funk.

One thing though for sure is that a temporary escape into a cannabis high, which does make me more social... isn't a real solution only a temporary band aid and I'm convinced that without the cannabis my psychoses would not have gone as far as they did.

well tomorrow is a new day. There is always hope.

I still have hope.