I agree with inner peace here. You know what you want and what you need. I sense you still really want this from T. You could find those resources for yourself. But you really want to t to be able to provide them. Please understand I don't say that with judgment. It is honesty - you hurt, you have trusted your t for so long, and you just really wish she could give this to you. The hurting child is asking t to provide it, because you still want it to come from T. It is not wrong to want that. It is painful for you. But the no-nonsense outer one who can rationalize and intellectualize and all of that can ask in this adult way... see? I am taking care of myself, I am asking for what I need, I am being adult and rational and no-nonsense and not a demanding needy child (again not a judgement - adult parts often feel that way about hurting child parts), and I am not asking YOU to give it to me because I know you won't...
But I see your hurting inner child in here as well as the intellectual adult.
Together you are all just trying to get what you need. There is NOTHING wrong in what you wrote or what you asked for. Nothing at all. There is nothing wrong with it and nothing unacceptable about it.
There is lots of good stuff to talk about with your T tomorrow.